1) 12 Rules For Life - Jordan Peterson

This book has changed my life like only a few others have, perhaps the most. My recommendation to read it comes more out of a concern for the well being of others than anything. It may not be the perfect book for you, because I realize the impact it could have is largely how dependent on the current state of your life. It can also be somewhat of a harder read for some people. But I don’t believe there is a better book to help you get your life straight.

I’m not sure there’s a book that has made me reflect more deeply on life than this one. Peterson has a knack for asking questions in a way that you can’t help but honestly start to search deep inside yourself for. It is those questions that I love the most, and certainly why I’ve come to love the book so much. I have found more meaning in my daily life in large part due to exploring and following Peterson’s 12 rules. That’s something I sincerely wish others could get out of it too.

I know not everyone will enjoy this book as much as I have., and maybe you don’t need to read this book right now. But just keep it in mind. God forbid you find yourself in a bad place, this is the first book I would like you to read. Take your time with it. Go slow. And really think about how the 12 rules could be applied in your life.

“The better ambitions have to do with the development of character and ability, rather than status and power. Status you can lose. You carry character with you wherever you go, and it allows you to prevail against adversity.”

— Jordan Peterson

2) Meditations - Marcus Aurelius

This is the book I have read more times than any other book. I’ve lost count but I think I’m at either 7 or 8 reads. It also happens to be the most gifted book I give to others. I guess I just think it’s fascinating to get to read the daily thoughts of a Roman emperor. He was the most powerful man of his time and yet one of the more pressing things on his mind was how he could be living a better life and be a better man.

I started journaling in the same style as Marcus Aurelius and I was amazed at the kind of thoughts that were coming to mind. It shows how powerful a habit of making room for intentional daily reflection can really be. A practice like that is something I would recommend to anyone, and this book could be a great model for how that is done.

Another reason I recommend this book is because in a way Marcus Aurelius can become something of a role model, a guiding figure for you to model yourself off of and consult. That inner voice that you have a conversation with can resemble Marcus. He becomes a mentor in a way, and someone that you can constantly seek out for advice just by going back to his own words. Remember, he wrote every word of this book, and he did so nearly 2,000 years ago. There’s a reason much of his wisdom stands the test of time.

“To stop talking about what the good man is like, and just be one.”

— Marcus Aurelius

Reading is not optional.

3) Man’s Search For Meaning - Viktor Frankl

The point for my recommendation of this book is for you to read something that will humble you a bit. This is Viktor Frankl’s direct account of life in a Nazi concentration camp. It’s not a fun read, and I would say it’s hard to really enjoy the read given the context. But I think it’s one that everyone needs to read.

I don’t think it’s something you need to read just to reflect on the kinds of atrocities that came about under the Nazi regime though. Yes, that’s part of it, but the other thing you need to take away from it is Frankl’s response to living in those conditions. His famous quote, shown below, displays a maturity and solemn grasp on how to preserve our dignity. There’s no reason you should come out of an experience like his and not have questions and doubts about life itself. No one would blame you for it. Yet, even through that, he’s an example that we can find some kind of existential truth about life even in the worst of circumstances.

You should read this book to learn lessons like that. To learn that you always have a choice in how you respond to anything that happens in life. You are in control of your response, you can hold on to your dignity and honor and purpose if you so choose. No one can take that from you. In a very Stoic sense, there are many things other people, or life, could take from you, including your life, but your character is forever yours. Meaning can forever sustain you.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

— Viktor Frankl

4) Extreme Ownership - Jocko Willink

This book is highly geared towards those in leadership positions. That said don’t think that you can’t take the lessons from it and apply them in your own life. This book is more about changing the way you approach problems and teaching you to take more responsibility for things than you might be used to. That’s what leaders do.

I first read this book when I was still coaching. In a hotel lobby in Denver I was finishing up the first chapter and Jocko’s story of him taking responsibility of a friendly fire incident while on duty hit me like a ton of bricks. I closed the book, sat there for a few minutes, and realized that I had to stop finding excuses for my player’s mistakes and complaining about our lack of performance because of it. Because it wasn’t their fault. It was mine. As a coach, all responsibility, whether you like it or not, falls on you. This idea changed my whole conception of my job.

I can’t recommend this enough. This and Jocko’s podcast, aptly titled “Jocko Podcast”, are the two things that took my coaching career to another level. You will listen to Jocko and think to yourself, “Man, he’s right. I have to be better than I am today.” To stop making excuses and start taking more responsibility for yourself, start here.

“The most fundamental and important truths at the heart of Extreme Ownership: there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.”

— Jocko Willink

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5) Grant - Ron Chernow

Ulysses S. Grant might be my favorite character in the books. I can’t explain it, but there’s just something about him and his story that I am drawn to. Most people might know that he was a Civil War general or a former president, but there knowledge stops there. If there was someone I would recommend learning more about, Grant is my first suggestion.

He didn’t live an easy life. He faced hard times on multiple occasions. He dealt with pettiness, crooks, cheats and all kinds of bad people. He had problems with alcohol that plagued him and his reputation his whole life. He lost everything, gained some back, lost it again, and left this world with little to show for himself. But one thing you come to realize about him is that he was fundamentally a good man. He was far from perfect, but he’s the kind of man who many people can relate to. He’s the kind of man that I personally look up to.

I suggest you read this book through the lens of a character study. Take notes on what he was like as a person and how he battled through the hardships of life. See how he dealt with people, how he trusted them far too easily, and how that backfired on him multiple times. He was a great man, made obvious by the response to his death. There’s a reason I consider him one of my personal heroes.

“It seems that one man’s destiny in this world is quite as much a mystery as it is likely to be in the next.”

— Ulysses S. Grant

Bonus Recommendation

(Cause I can’t resist)

Bonus) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

This book will always have a special place in my heart. It was the first book I picked up again after a long hiatus from reading. I will admit, I got this book to impress a girl I liked at the time, and while that relationship didn’t work out, a new love inevitably emerged. This book opened up a new world to me and my life was changed for the better because of it.

What I loved most about it was the idea that we all have our own personal legend we are working on. We are writing our story every day, regardless of the ups and downs, and we become whatever we wish to be. It’s a powerful message, among other ones in the book, and one that really will connect you with the main character.

By no means is this a hard read. It’s a short, fast (I finished it in two sittings it was that good) piece of fiction written by the talented Paulo Coelho. I recommend it for anyone looking for a good story. For something you can casually pick up and take plenty away from. But I also recommend it for people who might be picking up a book for the first time like I was. I’ve always said if you don’t like reading you just haven’t found the right book yet. Maybe this can be the book for you, like it was for me.